Stopping to listen

Tonight on my way home I found myself having an 'out of body' driving experience. My car somehow drove itself to the lake where I like to go for some quiet time. I really had no intention of going there today. I had way too much work to do at home. But somehow I had turned off and parked the car before I had really comprehended where I was. I took it as a sign that my inner me needed to relax itself. I sensed this because it has been a while since I could hear myself think. No that's not quite right...I could hear myself think, but I had mastered the art of blocking it out. I was so consumed with what was going on around me that I forgot to stop for a minute and think about me for a change. What did I want? What was important to me? What was making me so uncomfortable in my own skin? It took the help of a good friend to help me see that I was tuning out my inner voice. The emotions that you're getting are the inner you telling you how you're truly feeling about things. Learn to listen to them and your mind will flow freer. That's advise that I'm grateful to have followed because as I've come to realize, ignoring my feelings and thoughts will only clutter my life more.

I grabbed my iPod and hit the path. Fully loaded with a variety of songs and beats for the trip, I ventured out to clear my head. It was however what my mind needed. Funny enough though, I didn't even realize it today. I've found a way to keep each day at ease. I've been freeing my mind so much now that I don't really worry about much anymore. And by that I mean the smaller stuff. The normal everyday bullshit. This stuff use to gnaw away at my nerves everyday causing me to go home and get stuck in reliving the crap from earlier in the day. Rethinking about things over and over again until it left me with a bitter taste in my mouth as I'd try to fall asleep...dreading the next day. Lately I thought that I was free from those feelings forever. But it wasn't until I stopped to sit on the swing for a few minutes, that it came to me. I was actually stressed. It was a much deeper feeling than I was use to when it came to stress. So buried that I would have easily overlooked it. There were some minor irritations to my day, I wont lie. But it comes with the job. Being a manager has it's moments that will make you want to pull your hair out. Trust me!! I don't know how I still have my all my chestnut locks! It's funny too, because I can deal with the bigger commotions. That's when I fly into action and become the capable person that I know I have in me. It's the petty BS that really gets to me. I'm not going to slam my job. It's been a huge stepping stone in my life and is definitely a major part of my life's story to date. I love my people and wish nothing but the best for them. But as for me...my time there is almost done.




I feel restless. I'm not use to sticking to one place for too long. It's weird. Sometimes I say that I'm scared of change. I sit contently. Watching. Waiting for something to happen "to me." Instead of getting out there and making things happen "for me." Well that's getting boring. I let my life become routine. I could predict down to the detail what would happen in the next 24 hours. How depressing right?!?! That's not living. That's dying a slow death. I've decided to let it all go. Well within reason anyways. I've started setting more goals for myself. It may seem like a small step, but it's been working wonders for me. I've given myself dreams that I want to see fulfilled. Events that I want to attend. Projects that I want to see myself complete. Adventures that I want to achieve. One by one I pick something that I want to do and I do it. With each completed task I get more and more insight into myself. It's another notch on my life's bedpost. Just a blur or smiling moments and pictures capturing the moments.

I am thankful that things have taken the turn they have. Sometime I just need a good kick in the ass. (I know mum...) Teachers have been telling me since I was a child, "She'll do great in the future...if she'd only settle down and apply herself." Well, although I don't really ever see myself "settling down" (I will be spirited until the day I die!) I will definitely make applying myself more of a purpose in my life. With so little time on this earth to really be at peace and enjoy life, why waste even a moment?



I think the ducks were trippin..

xo

Another of my "Firsts"

My first blog...hmmm where to begin?? I've been debating this blogging idea for a while. The thought of getting what's in my head out into the world just by sitting here and typing away amuses me. With the click of a button, people everywhere could actually have a private tour into the inner workings that is me. My biggest hold back to this exciting new journey?? What's stopped me from doing this in the past?? Well who would be interested in what I have to say?? What makes MY thoughts interesting enough to be out there? Tonight I finally said..."I do." I care about what I have to say. And whether or not I'm sitting on my patio scribbling away in my journal or sitting at my computer typing those same thoughts into a little box, one click away from posting, I'm doing what I intended to do. Getting the thoughts from the day out of me and into an emotional collaboration for ME to reflect back on. Should anyone else care to join in for the ride, please feel free. But ultimately...I'm doing this for me. Yet another step out of my comfort zone. I'm loving this new ride I'm on!
xo

Halloween 2009

Last year, on a road trip to visit a friend in Maine, I accidentally came across the wonder that is Salem, Massachusetts. And on, of all days...Halloween!! Not only is this town naturally and historically beautiful, but the people of the community are very warming and inviting. The experience I had last year automatically made me want to come back again for the next Halloween! From my first visit alone, I knew it was a place I could live. (Despite the fact that I swore I would never live somewhere colder than where I am now!!) Between the scenery and the friendly faces, I fell in love. I had the chance to meet some really great people from the area. All of which said that they were very happy with where they are living and had no thoughts of leaving.




This year I actually had more time to really experience the whole town and it's attractions. I was able to sit back and take the time to really observe the people and their interactions. A whole town devoted to embracing the tourists and showing them a good time! There are street performances from local people showing off their talents. There are live witch trials, where you'll most likely see a young peasant woman running through the town square. Chased by the angry mob chanting "witch" at her.



There are a large number of people who get dressed up to wander the streets in their costumes adding to the festivities. Many getting stopped and asked to pose for a picture. Everyone of all ages, young and old, getting together to openly enjoy the one day when everyone is able to be as unique as they want. It's true when they say that Salem is the party central for Halloween!!




Again this year I had lunch at the Salem Beer Works. A must do whenever visiting Salem. They have a variety of their own blends of beers, which I'm still working my way through. And the food...delicious! I had a Red Snapper salad that made my mouth water! I almost made myself sick trying to finish it. I just couldn't stop. lol Best of all, was that we were greeted with the familiar bright smile from the same bartender as last year. This year she was a little too busy to sit and talk with us again, but I gotta say...this chick rocks!





Another Halloween, come and gone. I thank the community of Salem, Massachusetts for once again putting on a wonderful performance and opening yourselves and your town to the adventurers seeking a little fun and excitement on such a spirited day. Until next year...




xo